How Narcissism Actually Works: Love Bombing, Gaslighting, Flying Monkeys

Narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and NPD get thrown around constantly online, and most of what circulates is wrong. In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton walks through what narcissistic personality disorder actually is (all nine DSM criteria, and why five or more are required for a diagnosis), the difference between covert and overt narcissism, and the specific behavior patterns that make a relationship abusive: love bombing, gaslighting, trauma bonding, DARVO, flying monkeys, isolation, and intermittent reinforcement. She also covers the gray rock method, the signs you're walking on eggshells in your own home, and how healing from narcissistic abuse actually works.

If you've been wondering whether what you experienced counts, or whether the person in your life is a narcissist or simply selfish and hurtful, this one is for you.

Timestamps

0:00 Everyone thinks everyone's a narcissist

1:07 What narcissistic personality disorder actually is: five of nine criteria

3:20 Covert vs. overt narcissism

9:22 What narcissistic abuse means

9:48 Love bombing, and how it differs from someone just being kind

13:49 Gaslighting

19:11 No accountability, no apology, no repair

22:19 Monitoring, isolation, and turning you against the people who love you

24:22 Trauma bonding and the abuse cycle