Divorce Story | The Kind of Grief Men Are Expected to Carry Alone with Murf

Today's Divorce Story is with Pete Murphy or Murf, as he's known to his friends.

Murf's story is incredibly powerful. It is a story about losing so much of what once felt certain: his family life, his identity, his sense of stability, and at times, his hope. But it is also a story about what can happen when people show up, when support is offered in a way that can actually be received, and when a man begins to rebuild from the inside out.

In this conversation, Murf speaks openly about the moment he now recognises as rock bottom, lying in his driveway with police standing over him asking if he was okay. He shares what it felt like to be completely overwhelmed, to feel like there was no point getting back up again, and what it took to keep going.

We talk about male grief, the way men are often conditioned to hide pain, and why so many men feel they have to carry separation alone. Murf also shares the daily practices that have helped him through some of the hardest days, including breathwork, meditation, journaling, self-reflection and learning how to create space between what happens and how he responds.

This episode is not spoken from the finish line. Murf is still in the middle of his story. And that is what makes this conversation so important.

In this episode, we discuss:

What life looked like before everything changed Murf's rock bottom moment and what it felt like emotionally and physically Why men often struggle to speak openly about grief The shame and isolation many men experience during separation The importance of friendship, connection and people showing up Why accepting help is not weakness The difference between surrendering and giving up Rebuilding when the story is still unfolding How breathwork, journaling and daily practices helped Murf cope What not to say to someone going through separation Why listening is sometimes more powerful than trying to fix Murf's message for anyone listening, especially men, is simple but deeply important: you are not alone. You do not have to carry this by yourself. And accepting help is not failure, it can be the beginning of finding your way back.

Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.

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