
← Divorce Happens3 dagen geleden · 6 min
Hey Olivia, how do I stop sleeping with my spouse now that we're separated?
"Since my husband and I separated, we keep ending up back in bed together. It's not planned. It just happens." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia answers one of the most common — and least talked about — parts of separation: continuing to sleep with a spouse you've split from, and why it's so much harder to stop than it sounds.
Olivia covers:
Why this is one of the most common things that happens during separation, even though almost no one admits it out loudThe real chemical bonding that comes with physical intimacy with someone familiar, regardless of where things stand emotionallyWhy keeping this private isn't shame — it's often just protecting yourself from managing other people's reactionsWhy the "setback" feeling afterward isn't confusion, it's clear information: the body wants comfort, growth wants distance, and both are true at onceWhy structural changes work better than willpower alone — limiting alone time, meeting in public, having a plan for lonelinessHow to get specific about whether the craving is for that person, or for touch and closeness in generalWhy deciding your boundary on a calm day beats deciding it in a lonely moment
"Your body wants comfort. Your growth wants distance. Both are true."
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