Duologue with Leslie Heaney

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The Puberty Talk: What Every Parent Actually Needs to Know with Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Curl Bennett

The Puberty Talk: What Every Parent Actually Needs to Know with Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Curl Bennett6 mei1 u 06 min

If there was ever an episode to send to every parent you know, this is it.

I sat down with Dr. Cara Natterson — pediatrician and author — and Vanessa Curl Bennett, and we went there. All the way there. Breast buds, NARBs, vaginal discharge (yes, we said it out loud), the sex talk, consent with kindergartners, and what to do when your kid's been watching porn before you've ever had the conversation.

Their book, This Is So Awkward, is one of the most practical, honest, funny, and genuinely useful things I've read as a parent of teens. It walks you through the science of what's happening in your kid's body, helps you recognize your own baggage so it doesn't derail the conversation, gives you scripts for the actual hard moments, and — my favorite part — ends each section with perspective from young adults who've already been through it.

We talked about: what breast buds actually mean (and why they're showing up years before a period), how to handle the first bra conversation without making it weird, what the NARB is and why your son needs a strategy for it, the concept of "not now" vs. "never" when it comes to alcohol, sex, and body hair, how the average age of first porn exposure is now 12 — and what that means for the conversations you need to have, and how to teach consent starting in kindergarten, long before sex ever enters the picture.

I laughed. I cringed. I took notes. You will too. Find Cara and Vanessa at lessawkward.com.

00:00:00 Introduction

00:02:25 Breast Buds: The First Physical Sign of Puberty

00:05:58 How the Puberty Timeline Has Shifted

00:08:24 The Sign Most Parents Don't Know to Look For

00:13:01 Breast Development in Boys — Yes, Really

00:17:32 Introducing Bras Without the Shame Spiral

00:24:24 Body Privacy & the White Soccer Jersey