24. The 3 Types of ADHD in Women (And Why So Many of Us Go Undiagnosed)

For thirty years, ADHD has had one wanted poster. Loud, can't sit still, disrupting the class, talking back — a boy. And you weren't him. So you walked past every checkpoint in your life — the GP, the teachers, the report cards, the parent-teacher nights — and nobody stopped you. Maybe someone said you were bright, you just needed to apply yourself. Maybe you got 'conscientious' on every report card. And conscientious doesn't go with ADHD, does it?

Three different women can all have ADHD. All three can walk straight past that same poster on the wall, and not one of them gets stopped — because not one of them looks like the sketch. This episode is Jane putting three new posters up: the inattentive mum told to try harder, the 'too much' mum who apologises for her personality before she's said a word, and the 'fine' mum everyone leans on who's hanging off a cliff on the inside. See if you find your own face on the wall.

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Chapters 00:00 — The one wanted poster ADHD has had for thirty years

01:25 — Three women, one poster, and why none of them get stopped

02:17 — Who drew the poster — and why the quiet ones were never in the sketch

03:54 — One Monday morning, one clock, four different mothers

04:32 — The neurotypical mum, and where the difference actually shows up

05:54 — Profile 1: the inattentive mum, told her whole life to try harder

07:36 — The planner graveyard — six apps, four planners, three years of fresh starts

08:17 — Profile 2: the mum who's always been 'too much'

09:12 — Apologising for your personality before the conversation starts