How to Initiate Sex: communicating desire & overcoming rejection anxiety

How do you actually initiate sex with your partner?

It sounds simple, but for many couples, making the first move can be surprisingly awkward, vulnerable and even scary. In this episode, we get into why sexual initiation can become so difficult and what you can actually do about it.

We discuss the loneliness epidemic and changing dating habits, before getting into the bigger question: how do we ask for sex without making it feel like a high-stakes negotiation?

Drawing on ideas from Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, we explore spontaneous and responsive desire, the "accelerators and brakes" that influence libido, and why initiating sex can start hours before you ever get into bed.

We talk about:

Why so many couples struggle to initiate sex

How fear of rejection can make making a move feel terrifying

Why sex can start with connection, safety and feeling understood

Using love languages as a form of everyday intimacy and foreplay

Spontaneous vs responsive desire

How long-term relationships can change the way we experience sexual desire

How having children can completely reshape your sex life