Moments #59 - Nobody Told Me What To Actually Look For In A Partner — On Support, Village And The Things That Matter When You Have Kids - Tiffany Scott (Sanya)

<p>When I was dating I was filtering for career ambition and drive above almost everything else. </p><p>Nobody told me that the game changes completely when you have children.</p><p>Because it turns out that what actually determines how you show up as a mother — whether you can work, build something, stay fit, stay sane — is not your own ability. It is your capacity. And capacity is shaped mainly by the support around you.</p><p>For me that support comes in the form of my mother in law. As someone who lost my own mum young, that village is not just helpful. It carries me. </p><p>And it made me think about everything I was not filtering for when I was dating. His parents. His level of kindness on a bad day. Whether he could hold the children independently and fully. Whether your parenting styles would complement each other over the long run.</p><p>Nobody tells you to look for that. But maybe they should.</p><p>In this episode:<br>→ Why it is not ability that determines what mothers can achieve — it is capacity<br>→ What I was filtering for when dating versus what actually matters when you have kids<br>→ The village, the in laws and why their support changes everything<br>→ Why parenting styles that complement each other matter more than shared interests<br></p><p>And honestly? I did not plan any of this. I just happened to fall into the right village.</p>