Why Being "Too Nice" Can Be a Survival Strategy

Not every survival strategy looks like fighting back or running away. Sometimes it looks like befriending the person who's hurting you.

This episode covers the last two mixed states: appease (safety plus flight/fight plus shutdown — all three primary states at once) and fawn (flight/fight plus shutdown, but without safety). What separates a hostage using social skills to stay alive from someone disappearing inside an abusive home. Why both states likely require significant dissociation to survive. And where I personally land on how much weight these two deserve as actual Polyvagal Theory mixed states, versus maybe something else entirely.

This is Episode 13 of the Stuck Not Broken audiobook — Book 1, Trauma & the Polyvagal Paradigm; full series in the playlist. 🎙️ More on Fawn & Appease as maybe not mixed states: https://youtu.be/4vTXTEF47pQ

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😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.

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