You Were Worth It Then. You Are Worth It Now

Worth is not something you earn. But most of us grew up in environments that treated it like you could and should. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we look at the core issue of value: what inherent worth actually means, what children need to internalize it, and what happens when those needs aren't met. We also unpack the two directions a value wound tends to go one-up and one-down and the role shame plays in keeping the wound alive.

What we mean by inherent worth -- and why it can't be earned or lost

What children actually need to internalize value -- attunement, delight, unconditional love

One-up and one-down: the two ways a value wound shows up, and why most people oscillate between them

Shame vs. guilt -- a critical distinction that changes how we understand the wound

Why shame lives in the body -- and why insight alone can't reach it

Is there a belief about yourself you've never said out loud -- something you suspect might be true that you hope no one finds out? That's often where the shame lives.

COMING UP IN PART 2

How the value wound shows up in your work, your relationships, and your sense of identity -- and what healing actually looks like.