Five Guys: Avoid Their Bacon, But Seek Out the Cajun Fries

🍔🥜 Five Guys Review: Worst Bacon Ever, Amazing Fries, and Competitive Burgers 🥜🍔

This week, Seif Rahoumi (@seifrahoumi) returns as we put Five Guys to the Chili's Test. With Five Guys entering Septemburger 2026 as the No. 2 seed, it's time to find out whether one of America's most beloved burger chains can live up to the hype. Between three tournament burgers, fresh-cut fries, and a shockingly bad hot dog, there's a lot to unpack.

🍔 Three Burgers Enter the Septemburger Conversation

🥜 Seif Opens a Peanut for the First Time Ever

🍟 Fresh-Cut Fries and Cajun Fries Continue to Carry the Reputation

🌭 The Hot Dog Was a Bigger Disappointment Than I Am to My Parents

🥓 The Bacon Ruined Everything It Touched

🎨 The Bulletin Board Is Out of Cards, So Seif Can't Cook (Artistically Speaking)

👨‍🍳 Open Kitchen vs. FOH/BOH Segregation

🏆 Seif Thinks the Walls Have Way Too Many Self-Congratulatory Awards

📏 Calibration Station Reveals Seif's Biggest Restaurant Green Flag: Acknowledge Him

🤨 Is a Cashier Rude for Saying *He* Wouldn't Eat What We Ordered?