From Validation-Seeking to Self-Trust

Seeking validation isn’t just about chasing likes. It’s the part of us that needs approval, wants to belong, and feel accepted. But does it come at a cost?

In this episode, we unpack the subtle ways validation-seeking still shows up in our everyday lives, especially as gay men who learned early to scan, adapt, perform, and manage how we’re perceived. We talk about the difference between healthy feedback and outsourcing your self-worth, and what it actually looks like to build self-trust in real life.

In this episode, we discuss:

What validation-seeking actually looks like

The difference between caring what people think and letting their opinion become a verdict on your worth

Why self-trust requires tolerating discomfort, disappointment, and disapproval

How we’re each still learning to come back to ourselves in more honest, grounded ways

Self-trust doesn’t mean you stop caring what people think- it means their reaction no longer gets to decide who you are.

Today's Hosts:

Matt Landsiedel

Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men

Reno Johnston