78. The Toddler in Your Head | Why Killing Your Ego Isn't the Answer

<p>What if your ego isn't the villain you've been told it is? In this mini episode, I'm offering a reframe I got from my friend Sasha Feldman (actor-turned-therapist and a past Get Messy guest): the ego isn't something to defeat, it's more like a toddler — scared, overwhelmed, and desperately needing someone to hold it together, not shame it into submission.</p><p>I get into what it actually looks like when the "toddler" shows up — that defensive, reactive flare when something feels threatening or small — and why the goal isn't to eliminate that reaction, but to bring in "the adult": the part of you that can witness the reaction without being consumed by it. I also connect this to the window of tolerance, a concept from my grad school work, and why creatives specifically are constantly in situations designed to trigger the ego.</p><p>This one's a short but powerful reframe for anyone who's been trying to "kill" their ego instead of learning how to hold it.</p><p><br /></p><p><strong>In This Episode:</strong></p><ul><li>Why the ego isn't the enemy — it's more like a scared toddler</li><li>Where this reframe came from: a conversation with Sasha Feldman</li><li>What it looks like when the "toddler" flares up (and how to notice it)</li><li>The role of "the adult" — holding the reaction instead of being run by it</li><li>The window of tolerance, and why the toddler blows you right out of it</li><li>Why creatives are constantly in ego-triggering situations</li><li>Hold the toddler, let the adult lead</li><li><br /></li></ul><p><strong>RESOURCES:</strong></p><ul><li><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/20-authenticity-and-transformation-sasha-feldmans/id1765146695?i=1000709251654" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Get Messy episode with Sasha Feldman</a></li><li><br /></li></ul><p>✨Connect with Maddie✨</p><p><a href="https://maddiemcguirecoaching.com/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Explore Maddie’s Website |</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/messywithmaddie/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@messywithmaddie</a></p>