When Kindness Comes At Your Own Expense

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I'm probably just overthinking it"?

That's exactly what I said in a recent supervision session. My supervisor responded with a simple question:

"Are you overthinking - or are you diminishing your feelings?"

That question stayed with me.

As therapists, we're often deeply compassionate people. We want to be kind, fair and understanding. But sometimes our kindness towards other people comes at the expense of ourselves.

In this episode, I reflect on how easy it is to ignore our own needs because we're worried about disappointing someone else. Whether it's charging a cancellation fee, ending a session on time, saying no to a new client or making a difficult professional decision, our fear of disapproval can sometimes become louder than our own values.

I also explore why consistency matters, how resentment can grow when we don't honour our own boundaries, and why listening to ourselves is an important part of ethical, sustainable practice.

In this episode, we explore:

Why "overthinking" isn't always what we're doingThe difference between kindness and self-neglectHow people pleasing can influence our professional decisionsWhy your values are a better guide than someone else's approvalHow healthy boundaries protect both you and your clientsThe importance of looking after yourself as well as those you support

If you've ever struggled with saying no, worried about getting things wrong or found yourself putting everyone else's needs before your own, I hope this episode reminds you that your wellbeing matters too.

If you'd like support from a community of therapists who understand these challenges, Therapy Growth Group offers weekly live calls, practical marketing support and a welcoming place to think things through with others in private practice.

Setting up in private practice? Download my free checklist HERE