The Questions Women Don't Ask Out Loud | Dena Block

The Questions Women Don't Ask Out Loud | Dena Block12 jul49 min

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A conversation about women's health & Jewish law, the more sensitive questions hidden behind women's seemingly straightforward halachic questions, how the concept of a Yoetzet Halacha came about, the difference between a halachic ruling and halachic advice, why the advice of "don't look at the toilet paper" can sometimes do more harm than good, the evolution of halachic thinking on IVF, the medical red flags that can be associated with "halachic infertility", the questions Dena gets most often, the ones that break her heart, and the ones that surprise her the most. Dena Block is the Co-Director of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center. Previously, she served as the Center's Associate Director and as a Yoetzet Halacha for several congregations throughout the tri-state area. She taught Gemara and Halacha at Ma'ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in Teaneck, NJ, where she also served as Director of Admissions. A graduate of the first class of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center's U.S. Yoatzot Halacha Fellows Program, Dena worked on numerous MGC initiatives to broaden the impact of of Yoatzot Halacha before joining the Center full-time in 2021. Dena lives in Raanana with her husband and 5 children and can be reached at Dena@afnishmat.org[00:00] Welcome Dena Block [01:00] Meeting women where they're at[01:50] Defining the term "Yoetzet Halacha" (women's halachic advisor)[02:48] The origin story: why the role was created[03:30] How women were being more stringent on themselves in silence, not more lenient — and the health/marital cost of that silence[04:24] Why more questions asked = more comfort, not less trust in rabbinic authority[05:00] How a Yoetzet answers — always with context, not just yes/no, to empower future understanding[05:48] The "question behind the question" — when the real issue isn't the halachic one[05:52] Example: a woman asking to go to mikvah early — the real story underneath[07:44] How that extra context changes the answer a posek gives[08:11] Story: a woman whose ongoing staining was actually a birth control issue [10:15] Defining the boundary between a Yoetzet and a rav/posek[11:06] What "psak" actually means vs. general halachic knowledge[12:00] Judgment calls vs. established rulings [12:16] Should women be taught to examine their own bedikah cloths? [16:27] The bigger question — why can't a woman hold a halachic ruling position?[18:23] The humility and reverence in deepened knowledge[20:47] How halacha creates unusual bodily attunement[24:41] Why "don't look at the toilet paper" is advice Dena wants retired [27:36] What IVF is and the original halachic concerns when it emerged[28:11] The concern over hashchatat zera (wasting seed) and how sperm collection is handled[29:36] How halachic opinion evolved as the technology became safer and more regulated[32:54] Common misconceptions about halachic infertility[34:34] Why a very short cycle can be a medical red flag, not just a halachic inconvenience [35:22] Halachic literacy often reveals underlying health issues[35:23] Why unexplained staining should always prompt a doctor visit, even when it's halachically minor[37:08] Misconceptions around halacha and sexuality<stron