Why Does ADHD get missed in Women? (Masking, Coping & Burnout)

She didn't know she was ADHD until the psychologist assessing her son turned to her and said, "So you've obviously been diagnosed."

Hester Grainger is a former TV and BBC Radio presenter, certified ADHD coach, and co-founder of Perfectly Autistic. She's also a mum to two neurodivergent teens, married to a neurodivergent partner, and didn't realise she was ADHD herself until her 40s.

In this episode, we talk about:

– the moment she was diagnosed (and why no one was surprised)

– raising two autistic ADHD children without knowing she was neurodivergent herself

– masking, performing, and the burnout that comes when you stop

– why perimenopause can be the moment the wheels fall off

– locking herself in the toilet just to breathe

– navigating meltdowns, sensory overload, and big emotions as a family

– the guilt of looking back and realising what you didn't know

– why her 16 year old was told "you don't look autistic"

– how she and her husband built a strong partnership through chaos