Can you be ambitious and self-compassionate? Dr Amanda Super

What if being kinder to yourself doesn't make you less ambitious — but helps you work, recover and live more sustainably?

In this episode of People Soup, I talk to Dr Amanda Super, an occupational and coaching psychologist, author and founder of Creating Compassion. Amanda specialises in self-compassion and compassionate leadership, working with organisations across the public, private and not-for-profit sectors.

Amanda's own journey into this work is fascinating.

At 19, she had flunked her A-levels and was struggling with her confidence. Psychological support helped change the trajectory of her life. Years later, when she became seriously unwell and needed major surgery, a nurse pointed out something Amanda hadn't recognised herself:

"You're being very hard on yourself."

That moment led Amanda to discover self-compassion — and ultimately changed both her personal life and professional direction.

In our conversation, we explore:

What self-compassion actually means — and what it doesn't meanWhy we're often caught between threat and drive, with too little access to recovery and soothingHow workplace culture can reinforce perfectionism, productivity and the pressure to keep goingThe three elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity and self-kindnessWhether it's possible to be ambitious and self-compassionate at the same timeHow self-compassion can help us develop healthier boundariesWhat Amanda means by fierce self-compassionThe costs of constantly criticising ourselvesAmanda's practical RAIN exercise for difficult momentsWhy recovery is productiveAnd why self-compassion might simply give us permission to include ourselves as well as everybody else.

There's also a lovely conversation about Amanda's choice of walk-on music, Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles — a song that reminds her of her grandmother and represents the movement from darkness towards warmth, hope and light.

A practical idea from Amanda

When you notice you're having a strong emotional response to something, pause and ask:

What do I need right now?