How to Disagree With Your Kids Without Fighting

Do you know how to disagree with your kid without a fight breaking out?

Most of us have been told that the fix for a bad disagreement is more empathy — really try to see it from their side. But Julia Minson, negotiation researcher at Harvard's Kennedy School, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to share what her experimental research actually shows: telling someone to "try harder to empathize" barely changes the outcome of a conflict. Instead, Julia and Aliza dig into why disagreement has gotten so much more fraught in families, what really makes someone feel heard, and a concrete, teachable framework for disagreeing with your kids, your partner, or anyone else without torching the relationship.

What you’ll learn:

Why "try to see it from their perspective" doesn't actually work, according to the research

"Listening with your words": the specific language that proves you're actually paying attention

The "curiosity sandwich" — a script for disagreeing without abandoning your own point of view

Argue, don't fight: how to model constructive disagreement in front of your kids

The HEAR framework: hedge, emphasize agreement, acknowledge, and reframe to the positive

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:

📖 Buy Julia Minson's book, How to Disagree Better

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/774525/how-to-disagree-better-by-julia-minson/

📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/