Ep 31: Perfectionism Made Him Great. Will It Break Him As A Dad?

A former New York City Ballet principal dancer opens up about the fear underneath the joy of expecting his first child. Chase Finlay talks with Tony Cooper about the perfectionism that carried him from a childhood ballet studio to the world's biggest stages, and why that same drive could work against him as a father. They cover the difference between performing for approval and living in alignment, why presence stops time with your kids, and how recovery and honest relationships taught him to become his own cavalry instead of waiting to be rescued. Chase also shares his intentions for his baby shower, his hopes to raise a daughter free to imagine, and the advice he's giving himself for the first months of fatherhood.

Key Takeaways

Perfectionism can build a career and also work against you as a father if left uncheckedThe external pursuit of validation can be fulfilling, but internal alignment creates lasting fulfillmentRecovery and a healthy relationship helped reframe self-reliance: "I'm the cavalry"Presence is the antidote to feeling like time with your kids moves too fastPlay is a child's domain, and imagination is worth protecting from screens and self-consciousnessDoing your own personal work before becoming a parent is a gift you give your childrenA baby shower can be a celebration of the work both partners did on themselves, not just the babyBeing a firm, present, aware foundation for your partner matters as much as showing up physicallyIf you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open

00:29 Meet Chase Finlay

01:19 30 weeks into pregnancy

01:35 Abundance and joy in pregnancy

02:30 Fear of not being good enough

03:24 Wanting everything to be perfect

04:11 The evidence he'll be a great dad

05:03 Chase's ballet career begins

06:41 Principal dancer by 19