The Notebook and Romantic Love

On Christmas Eve 2025, a women’s magazine called Evie Magazine published an article titled, “Why Does Hollywood Keep Telling Women To Pick Broke Men?” The author of the article was Carmen Schober.

Schober’s general thesis was that modern Hollywood movies often show women choosing subpar men over better men, with female characters “following their hearts” and pursing a “man-child-turned-hero-fantasy.”

Schober argued that modern movies often show women passing on men who would make better longer-term partners – men, who, in the movies, “dressed well, worked hard, [and] did not need to ‘grow up’.” According to Schober, the alternative presented to women in these movies are men who are incompetent, unkempt, and financially insecure. Abstract examples of subpar men given by Schober included “a broke poet with commitment issues, a boyish drifter with no plans for the future, or an eccentric loner obsessed with escaping convention at all costs.”

Schober concluded that movies that depict women choosing subpar men over better man are propaganda because research and polling data show that women desire the traits embodied by the men who the women are rejecting in the movies.

I agree with Schober that Hollywood movies often portray non-serious men in ways that make them more interesting, important, and desirable than they would be in real life. Actor Kevin Sorbo made broadly similar points in his 2023Fox News article titled, “Let’s make Hollywood manly again,” which Icovered at The Nuzzo Letter. Nevertheless, I think Schober’s aim was off when she critiqued the movie The Notebook.

The Notebook and Its Importance

The Notebook was a 2004 adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks’ book of the same name. It starred Rachel McAdams as Allie Hamilton, Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun, and James Marsden as Lon Hammond, Jr.

The Notebook is adored by many audiences. It has an IMDB rating of 7.8 out of 10, which is solid for a romantic movie in an anti-romantic age. The Notebook also plays at outdoor cinemas in Australia around Valentine’s Day every year, again signalling the movie’s broad appeal.

I think the theme and characters of The Notebook warrant careful examination for a couple of reasons. First, I think The Notebook will be central to the eventual romantic counterrevolution in movies. Second, an examination of The Notebook can help people understand their own partner preferences and relationships, which is partly why Schober wrote her article in the first place.

Schober’s Argument

In her article, Schober argued that Allie should have chosen Lon to be her lifelong partner rather than Noah. However, in arguing this position, Schober made direct claims and indirect suggestions about Noah that were inaccurate. Here, I address these inaccuracies, and I argue that they invalidate Schober’s position and that Allie’s choice of Noah was a rational one.

Character Traits