155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

Toni Borneo was formally recognised as autistic two years ago, at age 42 - something that has saved and completely changed her life. For her, the process of unmasking uncovered complex, long term mental and emotional health issues. And more recently she realised that she has developmental trauma that has led to her having a personality disorder.

Toni has spent her working life in health policy advocacy, first for a mental health charity, and now for a health trade union. She lives in Guildford in the UK, where she is currently discovering her unexplored creativity, building up her physical health, and enjoying going to local meet-ups for autistic adults.

In our conversation Toni shares her experiences and knowledge of developmental trauma and personality disorder in autistic people – something that is heavily stigmatised and misunderstood in the autistic community, and that she suspects is actually very common – and the things that are helping her heal.

Squarepeg is a podcast in which I talk to other late identified autistic women and nonbinary people about their lives, their autism journeys, and what they've learned along the way.

I'm Amy Richards, and I was diagnosed autistic in 2016, when I was 37. I've been sharing my conversations with other autistic adults since 2020.

I hope you'll find these conversations inspiring and thought provoking, and that they'll help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

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EPISODE LINKS:

Autistic at 40 podcast: https://tr.ee/XD3CoFXehj

Toni's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/autistic_at_40/

If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on: