Ep. 103: How to Know When to Stay or Leave Your Job

<p>Let's talk about the hardest decisions you'll make in your career: when to stay and when to leave your leadership role. There are two big mistakes I see leaders make, and I've made both myself. You leave too soon, or you overstay your welcome.</p><p>Leaving too soon usually happens when you decide everyone else is the problem. The company is broken, nobody can do their job, and you've never stopped to look at your own part in the equation. I spent years in corporate with rotating bosses, changing companies, getting promoted, and feeling unfulfilled through it all, until I realized I was the only constant in every one of those rooms. Until you do that inner work, you carry the same pattern into the next place, and the next, and the next.</p><p>Overstaying can do a lot of damage, if you aren't mindful of what's going on. Overstaying is often driven by fear, scarcity, inertia, the comfort of the devil you know, and sometimes an addiction to being the expert. It rarely shows up as one big moment. It's death by a thousand cuts: rotating bosses that make you believe you need to be in constant in proving energy, the disrespect you keep excusing, the values that quietly stopped aligning, the responsibilities that drifted into work you don't even like. And the loudest sign of all is your body which can look like panic attacks, migraines, tightness, and dread, all the while indicating to you that a chapter was already over.</p><p>Chapters end. Sometimes before we wanted them to, and that's okay. Trees die, flowers die, and they regrow. The work is learning to read your own patterns so you recognize how you may be getting in your own way, and start making space for what's going to serve you.</p><p><strong>Episode Highlights:</strong></p><ul> <li>The two big mistakes leaders make: leaving too soon and overstaying.</li> <li>Why "everyone else is the problem" is usually a sign you skipped the inner work.</li> <li>The real reasons we overstay: scarcity, inertia, and the comfort of the devil we know.</li> <li>How overstaying can show up as death by a thousand cuts, not one big event.</li> <li>Looking for clues from your body for the truth.</li> <li>How to apply these lessons to leading others, including letting high performers move on.</li></ul><p><strong>Quotables:</strong></p><ul> <li>"I was the only constant in the equation."</li> <li>"You shouldn't have to mold yourself to such an extent that you don't even recognize yourself anymore."</li> <li>"Trees die. Flowers die. They regrow. You replant all the things."</li></ul><p><strong>Tosca's Links and Resources:</strong></p><ul> <li>Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: <a href="http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter</a></li> <li>Tosca's Website: <a href="https://www.toscadimatteo.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.toscadimatteo.com</a></li> <li>Get in Touch with Tosca: <a href="https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact</a></li> <li>Take the Inner Critic Compass quiz: <a href="https://www.toscadimatteo.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.toscadimatteo.com</a></li> <li>LinkedIn: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/</a></li> <li>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/</a></li></ul><p>Theme music by <a href="https://adriandimatteo.com" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Adrian DiMatteo</a><br />Editing by: Starlin Media</p>