Why ADHD Kids Lie: Perfectionism, Defensive Dishonesty & Raising Neurospicy Kids

Ever wonder why your kid lies... even when the truth would've been so much easier? Yeah, same. In this episode, Michelle and Megan dive deep into one of the most surprising chapters from The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids, and it hits hard.

We're talking about how perfectionism doesn't just create anxiety, but it can actually push kids (and adults) toward lying as self-preservation. Megan opens up about being a "very good liar" growing up, and why, looking back, it makes total sense. Michelle reflects on parenting Josh and how the pressure to get everything right can quietly teach kids that hiding the truth is safer than facing correction.

We also get into masking, defensive dishonesty, normalizing mistakes in your household, radical honesty in relationships, the GEMO ("good enough, move on") philosophy, and why we need a dopamine mood ring. (Seriously though, PLEASE someone make this!)

Plus: a puzzle with 15 missing pieces, a garlic roast disaster, a cat named Lane who absolutely cannot be trusted around sodas, and the Arabic phrase that changed Megan's marriage.

Real talk, real laughs, real sisters figuring it out one episode at a time.

0:00 – Welcome & intro: what we're reading (The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids)2:10 – Perfectionism → lying: the connection the book reveals4:15 – Megan's middle school note-writing lie spiral (relatable ADHD chaos)6:55 – "Defensive dishonesty" explained — lying as self-preservation9:00 – Masking IS lying: the toll it takes over time13:45 – Dissociation, shame, and coping mechanisms that outlive their usefulness16:10 – Megan's earliest memory of learning to lie (Happy Trails preschool)20:30 – Kids aren't defiant — they can't self-regulate26:10 – The dopamine/serotonin mood ring we desperately need30:00 – Megan's hard week: adulting, showing up, and the incomplete puzzle35:30 – GEMO: "Good Enough, Move On" philosophy & what it means for our inner child40:00 – OCD tendencies, perfectionism rules, and therapy's role in change46:15 – Normalizing mistakes: strategies from the book50:00 – The "no correction" zone & Michelle's queen-of-corrections confession54:00 – Brian's "Opa" moment: how Megan retrained their household around mistakes58:00 – The garlic roast disaster → "Could I be more dramatic?" (their couples shorthand)1:03:30 – Asking "what would I do differently?" — Megan's approach to feedback1:07:00 – Michelle's story from teaching: how many times does a kid hear their name negatively?1:12:20 – Radica