E 370: Tammy's Takes #45: What If They Misunderstand You?

Have you ever set a boundary... and then immediately felt the need to explain it?

And then explain your explanation?

Maybe you soften what you said, send another text, replay the conversation for hours, or start wondering whether you did something wrong.

For many adult children of dysfunctional families, being misunderstood doesn’t just feel uncomfortable. It can feel unsafe.

In this week’s Tammy’s Takes, I build on one powerful idea from my conversation with Nima Rahmany:

“Learn how to expand your capacity to be misunderstood.”

That stopped me.

Because so many of us grew up learning to monitor everyone else’s moods, reactions, and opinions. We became experts at reading the room, keeping the peace, people pleasing, explaining ourselves, and making sure everyone else was okay.

Eventually, another person’s perception of us can become connected to our own sense of safety.

So when someone is disappointed in us, disagrees with us, or thinks we're selfish, our immediate response can be:

“I need to fix this.”

But do you?