The Power of "And" Instead of "But" - Building Confidence - Episode 167

What if changing one tiny word could change the way you talk to yourself?

In this episode of Building Confidence, we're talking about the surprisingly powerful difference between "and" and "but"—and how a small shift in language can help us recognise how far we've come without ignoring where we still want to grow.

Think about the difference between "I've learnt so much, BUT I still don't know how to do this" and "I've learnt so much, AND I still have more to learn."

Both can be true, but they feel very different.

Drawing on conversations from my coaching work and my own experiences with friendships, skills and personal growth, I explore how using "but" can sometimes unintentionally minimise everything that came before it. By replacing it with "and", we can make space for gratitude, disappointment, confidence, growth and ambition to exist alongside each other.

In this episode, we discuss:

The subtle difference between using "and" and "but"

How our language can unintentionally minimise our achievements

Recognising the skills you already have while acknowledging what you still need to learn

Why two seemingly conflicting feelings can exist at the same time

Using this tool when setting goals and thinking about your future

Appreciating the relationships and community you have while still wanting more