499: Support Their Struggles // The Back-to-School Check-In for Moms #6

My instinct, when one of my kids is struggling, is to solve it, save them from it, or to worry about it so intensely that the worrying becomes consuming. These instincts are natural because I love my kids so much, and I hate to see them in pain. But they also don't work, at least not very effectively.

Our children need to experience hard things in order to grow, and the most useful thing I can do, as their mom, is to walk beside them, listen to their big emotions, and help them find resources. It doesn't come as instinctually because it's a slower process, but it's what they really need when they're going through something hard.

This is the sixth and final episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.

Today's principle is Support Their Struggles, and I picked that verb over solve, or save, or shame, because supporting means being with your child in the hard thing rather than lifting them out of it.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🤍 The list I have moms make in my program that helps them know where to start in supporting their children

🤍 What happened when I first started to suspect one of my kids had ADHD, and how I worked through the overwhelm of getting started

🤍 The green, yellow, and red descriptions for this principle, so you can name where you actually are right now without turning it into one more thing you're failing at

Whatever your child is carrying, you can be a steady presence beside them without picking it up and carrying it yourself, and that steadiness will mean more to them than any solution you could hand over. This is slow work; it's hard work, and it matters so much.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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