ADHD, Love and Intimacy: Understanding Neurodivergent Relationship Needs

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Whether you've been with your partner for years or you're navigating dating after a late diagnosis, ADHD changes how we love, connect and show up in relationships, and this episode is entirely about that.

Welcome to this week's summer compilation episode. Rather than a single conversation, I've pulled together some of the most resonant clips from three different episodes on ADHD, love, intimacy and relationships, because I wanted to bring all of this into one place for you.

We begin with Lisa Rabinowitz, couples counsellor, certified Gottman and PACT therapist and author of Why Won't You Stop Interrupting Me? Lisa talks about how blame rarely helps either partner, why neurodivergence is often present on both sides of a relationship, and how working as a team rather than against each other can genuinely turn things around.

Then we hear from Sara-Louise Ackrill and Bontle Senne, AuDHD therapists, writers, and advocates and co-authors of The ND Lovers Club. They talk about psychological safety, masking in relationships, self-disclosure, and why understanding yourself is always the foundation before you can truly connect with someone else.

And we close with Dr Angela Wright, a trauma-trained clinical sexologist, sex medicine practitioner and menopause clinician, who talks honestly about how hormones, the nervous system and ADHD all intersect when it comes to desire, intimacy and what changes in midlife.

In this episode, we cover:

Why neurodivergence is often present in both partners, even when only one has a diagnosis

How to move from blame to teamwork in a neurodiverse relationship

Lisa's concept of the "talk nook" and why having a dedicated space for connection matters

Why psychological safety is the foundation of intimacy for neurodivergent people

How masking and people pleasing quietly erode intimacy over time