Everyone Wants a Piece of You. Here's How to Stay Whole -- with Luke Burgis

#743: Everyone talks about a loneliness epidemic — but Luke Burgis argues the opposite problem is just as real: we now have so much easy, frictionless community that we never have to develop a solid sense of who we actually are.

Luke Burgis is a professor of business at The Catholic University of America and the founder of the Cluny Institute, and the bestselling author of Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life. He returns to the show to talk about his new book, The One and the Ninety-Nine.

In this episode, we discuss:

Why having too much easy community can be just as damaging as having none at all

How to tell whether your beliefs are actually yours — or something you inherited without ever examining it

Why cutting people off has quietly become the default response to conflict

How to stop shrinking yourself just to keep other people comfortable

The zero-tolerance rule Luke enforces at his own company to kill passive-aggressiveness before it starts

How Luke actually decides who to trust, hire, and build relationships with

What an existential crisis at 29 — and five humbling years training for the priesthood — taught a successful entrepreneur about identity

This episode is for anyone who feels the pull between fitting in and standing out — in your family, your workplace, or your online life. Luke offers a way to build an identity solid enough to hold up under pressure, without giving up on real community.

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