278: ENCORE: How to Stay Connected When Teens Pull Away

Does your teen seem more attached to their friends and their phone than to you? That's not just a feeling, and it's not a phase you have to wait out.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with two of the world's leading experts on child development, globally renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, and developmental psychologist and author Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to address how parents can stay connected to their teens, even as they spread their wings. This is one of our most-watched episodes ever on YouTube, and we think you'll understand why.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why "healthy teenage rebellion" is mostly a myth — and what's actually happening when your teen pulls toward peers and away from you

- Why love and good intentions aren't enough on their own — and why a strong attachment bond is the only real delivery system for your care and influence

- How to read behavior problems as relationship problems — and why changing the relationship, not just the behavior, is where real progress happens

- Why warmth and curiosity are more powerful than consequences and control — and what "collect them before you direct them" actually looks like in family life

- How unchecked digital media can disrupt your teen's attachment to you — and what parents can do to strengthen their relationship with their kids

Drs. Neufeld and Maté have spent a combined 70-plus years studying what children need most from the adults who love them. They are co-authors of the book “Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers.” This conversation distills their wisdom into something every parent of a tween or teen can use today.

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