Ep 189. The Secret That’s Kept Sanjay Sober for 21 Years

My guest this week is Sanjay, a father in recovery who has been sober for 21 years. Born in Uganda, raised in London and now living in Melbourne, Sanjay grew up watching his father drink before taking his own first drink at fifteen. He spent the next two decades chasing that initial feeling through alcohol, drugs and gambling, while his life quietly unravelled behind the scenes.

In this conversation, Sanjay shares the unexpected moment a psychiatrist broke through every wall he had built, what it took to finally surrender, and why getting sober was only the beginning. He opens up about losing his father to alcoholism, navigating divorce without returning to old behaviours, and the role yoga and spirituality have played in helping him continue to grow.

But the real secret to Sanjay’s 21 years of sobriety has been getting out of himself. Through service, connection and giving back to the recovery community, he has found a sense of purpose that has carried him through every season of life. This is a warm and honest conversation about why sobriety cannot be sustained in isolation, and how helping others may be one of the most powerful ways we help ourselves.

Episode chapters:

00:08 Introducing Sanjay

04:39 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in London

07:48 Growing Up: A Father's Drinking and Life on Eggshells

10:49 A Refugee Identity and the Feeling of Not Belonging

13:07 The First Drink at Fifteen and Why He Loved It

17:15 Chasing the Feeling: Rave Culture, Drugs and Excess

19:37 When the Consequences Started to Show Up

23:57 Rock Bottom: Isolated, Broke and Calling Crisis Lines at 2am