106: What's Really Underneath Sexual Acting Out? With Sammy Uyama

<p>Sexual acting out isn't always about sex.</p><p>Sometimes it's about loneliness. Sometimes it's about validation. Sometimes it's about trying to feel alive.</p><p>Luke Gordon and recovery coach <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team-bios/#SammyUyama" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sammy Uyama</a> unpack the emotional needs underneath compulsive sexual behavior and explain why understanding those needs is essential for lasting recovery.</p><p>If you've ever wondered why relapse keeps happening—even when motivation is high—this episode may completely change how you think about healing.</p><p><a href="https://choose.clientsecure.me/request/clinician" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Book a session with Sammy.</a> </p><p><strong>Chapters</strong></p><ul><li><p>01:19 Meet Sammy</p></li><li><p>04:22 Need #1: Connection</p></li><li><p>17:08 Need #2: Validation</p></li><li><p>20:07 Need #3: Aliveness</p></li><li><p>25:15 Need #4: Comfort</p></li></ul><p><strong>Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with </strong><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Choose Recovery Services</strong></a><strong> and </strong><a href="https://blueprint-institute.com/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><strong>Blueprint Institute</strong></a><strong>.</strong></p><p>We want to hear from you! <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdTeli8XXgWJfhxuZDM-8v-I18vo_3yQWBcP1r-LxRysrgC9A/viewform?usp=dialog" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Fill out this short survey</a> to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. </p><p><strong>Register Now!</strong></p><ul><li><p><strong>***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***</strong></p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/reclaimed-intensive/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive</a> - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-accommodations-b/#LearnMore" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Housing accommodations available here.</a></p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Courage to Thrive</a> - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. </p></li><li><p>💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. <a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Scholarships</a> and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. </p></li></ul><p><strong>NEW: Tender Resilience - </strong>Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.</p><ul><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/tender-resilience-circle/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">FREE monthly workshop:</a> 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. </p></li><li><p><a href="https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/tender-resilience-group/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">6-Week Group</a>: Each week