When Love Isn’t Enough: Why You Need a Will with Tamryn E. Valenzuela, Esq., the NJ Legacy Lawyer

Thought Leaders Show: Legal Edition | Guest: Tamryn E. Valenzuela, Esq., the NJ Legacy Lawyer

Tamryn Valenzuela grew up in a two-cop household in Jersey City and spent the better part of two decades on the criminal side of the law: civilian clerk for the Jersey City Police Department, the Hudson County prosecutor’s office, six years with the public defender in Sussex County. In 2021, two things happened at once. She recognized a defendant in a Hudson County courtroom as the same man she’d been typing arrest reports on in 1997, and she was living through the aftermath of her father’s death without a will. He had been her stepfather from infancy, and she had never once called him that while he was alive. After he died, one sibling made sure she was reminded, over and over, that legally he wasn’t her father.

In this conversation with Dr. Tamara Patzer, Tamryn explains why the fight was never about money (what she wanted was a t-shirt from his drawer that smelled like him), why 98 percent of families sit in her office and say “we all love each other,” and why the law makes it hard to honor even the clearest verbal wishes. She lays out the three documents every adult should have from their 18th birthday on, and why she puts the will last. She tells the story of a client who inherited an entire IRA because a sibling wasn’t born yet when the beneficiary form was filled out, and now files a gift-tax return every year to split it. And she describes a 2026 case in which a child went months without health insurance after her father’s death because no guardian was named, while four sets of loving relatives fought in court over who should raise her.

Questions this episode answers

Why would a lawyer leave criminal law after twenty years for estate planning?What happens to a blended family when there’s no will?Is a handwritten letter enough? Why do verbal wishes fail even when the family wants to honor them?What are the three documents every adult needs at 18, and what does each one actually do?Should a power of attorney take effect immediately or only on disability?Why does an out-of-date beneficiary form cause a gift-tax problem for the survivors?Why can an accident settlement sit for years when there’s no executor?What happens to a minor child when no guardian is named in a will?Do you need a trust, or is a will enough?Why is estate planning not just for rich people?

About Tamryn Valenzuela

Tamryn E. Valenzuela, Esq. is Chair of the Trusts & Estates Practice Group