The Only Way Out Is Through: Why We Rush Past the Parts That Hurt

Sometimes "I'm over it" doesn't actually mean you're done.

Sometimes it means a part of you knows something painful is coming—and it would very much like to skip ahead to the chapter where everything feels fine again.

In this deeply personal episode, Ann shares what she uncovered after admitting she was running out of steam for the hands-on years of parenting. With three children nearing or already in adulthood and one 12-year-old still at home, she found herself mentally fast-forwarding to empty-nest life: fewer dinners to make, more freedom, and charcuterie every night forever.

But underneath the excitement was something more tender. Ann wasn't only looking forward to what was next. She was trying to protect herself from the grief of what was ending.

Through her own coaching experience and the story of a client navigating a painful co-parenting situation, Ann explores why our attempts to avoid difficult emotions often pull us away from the people and moments that matter most. The goal isn't to make hard things stop hurting immediately. The path toward relief begins by allowing them to hurt—and discovering that we can remain present anyway.

Key Takeaways 👉 You may not be rushing because the next chapter is better. You may be rushing because this chapter ending hurts.

👉 Our protective parts often believe happiness comes from eliminating pain. Unfortunately, all that avoiding can also eliminate presence.

👉 Planning, controlling, perfecting, pleasing, and impressing can all become strategies for staying one step ahead of uncomfortable emotions.

👉 You don't have to enjoy a painful experience to be present with it.

👉 Sometimes you're already handling the situation exactly the way you want to. What you actually wish is that doing the right thing didn't hurt.

👉 The way to reach the place where something no longer hurts quite so much is to let it hurt first.

👉 No amount of preparation or future-tripping can prevent grief—but it can cause you to miss what is still right in front of you.