249 - The $320M Bitcoin Heist, Dorsey's Bank & LAPTOP's 98% Crash

This week in crypto we've got hackers who stole $320 million in Bitcoin… then gave most of it back and asked for a $47 million thank-you payment.

Yep. Apparently even crypto criminals are negotiating their bounties now.

We've also got Jack Dorsey making the ultimate establishment move — Block has applied for a US banking charter to custody Bitcoin and stablecoins. Because apparently the road to decentralisation now goes through the banking regulator.

And finally, the LAPTOP update we've been waiting for. Hunter Biden's memecoin launched, briefly rocketed to a $1.6 billion implied market cap… and then crashed 98% in its first hour. And the wallet trail behind it is raising a few eyebrows.

So: polite hackers, Bitcoin banks and another celebrity memecoin spectacular.

Let's get into it 🚀

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TIMESTAMPS

2:18 Hackers stole $320m then asked for $47m for returning it

6:05 Block has filed with the banking regulator for a banking license

8:00 Laptop flop!

10:14 Short, sharp news bites