[E246] You're Not the Hero of Their Story, & That's the Point: A Conversation about Open Adoption with Annie Iverson

What does open adoption actually mean, and what happens when fear gets in the way of staying connected? Annie Iverson, adoptive mom of four and creator of Write It & Remember It, joins us to talk honestly about openness, boundaries, and the small, sustainable habits that keep birth family connections alive.

Episode Bullets

Openness lives on a spectrum, from a card a few times a year to regular visits. There's no single "right" version of it.

Three common misconceptions about open adoption: it means co-parenting, it's all or nothing, and it's mainly for the birth mom (it's really for the child).

Keeping the child at the center means letting their questions, not the adults' comfort, drive the connection.

A simple four-times-a-year rhythm (birthdays, a holiday, Birth Mother's Day, and one more) helps families stay consistent without overthinking it.

"Something is better than nothing": an imperfect photo or a short text still counts as connection.

Fear, of saying the wrong thing, of being judged, is often the biggest barrier, not logistics.

If contact has faded or gone quiet, it's never too late to reach back out through the agency.

Annie created Cards That Connect and the Birthday Interview Cards to make staying in touch simple and sustainable for other families.

Resources Mentioned

Write It & Remember It — Cards That Connect + Birthday Interview Cards