Everything’s Perfect Except… You Banned My Kid’s Oreos

It started with one message in a kindergarten group chat: Ava can’t have Oreos.

No allergy. No explanation. Just… no Oreos.

Naturally, the internet lost its mind.

Moms started sending Oreos to school on purpose. Celebrities showed up in the comments. News outlets started calling. The group texts became songs. And two five-year-olds apparently organized a relay race so the winner could claim an Oreo fair and square.

Meanwhile, Michelle still has no idea the internet knows her name.

But Oreo Gate opens up a much bigger conversation: Where is the line between making choices for your own child and expecting everyone else to follow those choices too?

From there, things go exactly where you’d expect an Everything’s Perfect episode to go—which is absolutely nowhere predictable.

Donald tells the story of his mom wiping Trader Joe’s body butter off him at her front door with flushable wipes. Autumn explains why she can practically feel Tide laundry detergent through her skin. There’s a sucker physically yanked from a child’s mouth at church, Girl Scout cookie rankings, childhood dinner confessions, and a powerful conversation about a 21 Day Fix member who spent years hoarding food after growing up in foster care with a padlocked refrigerator.

Oh, and Oreo Thins vs. Double Stuf gets debated too.

Because obviously.

🎙 KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

0:00 — Oreo Gate: the mom with the mystery Oreo ban 🍪