200. The Power Of Words

It's our 200th episode and we decided to talk about the most powerful gift you have as an advocate... your words. We not only discuss the words you speak, but also the words administration tries to include in an IEP. From the sneaky red flag of "when appropriate" to the loaded phrase "best of our ability," we reveal the language that puts your student at a disadvantage and what to do about it.

We address why "calculator when appropriate" is not the same as "calculator", how "best practices" and "mindful of everyone's time" are used to shut you down, what to do when someone says "not my job" and the critical difference between accommodations vs. modifications.

If you're a parent, caregiver or advocate, share this episode with someone who needs it right now.

Because education is not a favor. It's your child's RIGHT.

Episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLi4R9dL4avnOh5T8VEejTmDL15gKp2i_u

Episode Transcript: https://ifweknewthen701833686.wordpress.com/2026/06/03/200-the-power-of-words/2/

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Summary:

The episode opens with a Mark Twain quote that has stuck with Lori since college: the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. That distinction becomes the through line of the entire conversation, applied directly to the language parents encounter in IEP meetings. Lori and Stephen use the example of Liam's calculator accommodation to illustrate exactly how dangerous vague language can be. When the accommodation was rewritten from simply "calculator" to "calculator when appropriate," it shifted the power from Liam's documented need to an outside party's judgment call. That single phrase "when appropriate" could allow any teacher, aide, or resource person to decide a calculator isn't needed, effectively stripping Liam of a legal accommodation. They also clarify the important distinction between accommodations and modifications, emphasizing that a calculator is a tool that gives Liam access to his curriculum, not a shortcut that changes the lesson itself. The hosts also tackle other common phrases used