What We're Getting Wrong About Raising Boys and Girls with Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Something is happening to our children, and most of us are not paying close enough attention.

The algorithm is reaching them. Predators are reaching them. Drugs are reaching them through the phones we thought were keeping them connected and safe. And for many parents, the first time they realize what is happening is when it is already too late.

If you are a regular listener, you probably know how my son Sammy died. He bought a counterfeit pill laced with fentanyl from a dealer he met on Snapchat. I thought I had done everything I could to keep my home safe. I never imagined that a drug dealer could reach my son through his phone.

But that is the reality parents are facing now.

You may be doing everything you can. Monitoring social media. Limiting screen time. Talking to your kids about strangers, drugs, and online safety. But what happens when the algorithm is reaching them anyway? And what happens when it is reaching their friends, the kids they sit beside at school, play sports with, or spend the night with?

We cannot monitor every conversation. We cannot see every screen. And while all of this is happening, many of us parents are distracted too. We are busy. We are exhausted. We are scrolling.

So how do we raise conscious, grounded daughters and sons in a culture that is constantly competing for their attention?

Dr. Shefali Tsabary joins us  on The Language of Love, and this conversation goes straight into the heart of that question.

Dr. Shefali is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Conscious Parenting Movement. For decades, she has challenged parents to look at themselves before trying to fix their children. Now, she is taking on two of the biggest conversations in parenting today: what is happening to our girls, and what is happening to our boys.

Her response came in the form of two books, released at the same time and written in just five and a half months because she believes the moment demands urgency.

In this episode, Dr. Shefali explains why the algorithm targets children differently based on sex, and why it is so effective. We talk about why simply banning social media can give parents a false sense of security, why taking a teenager's phone away overnight can backfire, and what parents can do instead.

Her answer comes down to something that sounds simple, but is incredibly hard to practice: connection.