You Did Your Best... But What If You Didn't?

2 Kinds of Caregiver Regret, and How to Move Forward From Both. "We did our best" is the phrase pet parents hear more than almost any other after a loss. But what happens when the honest answer is more complicated than that? In this episode, Karen Wylie, EdD and Gail Pope respond to a listener's comment that named something they'd never fully put into words — and it changes how they think about regret going forward.

A listener named Wendy left a comment on Episode 21 (their original episode on regret) describing a specific kind of guilt: seeing a known sign of illness, minimizing it, and not going to the vet — even when the eventual decision turned out to be the right one. Karen and Gail realized Episode 21 had only ever covered one kind of regret. So in this episode, they name two:

Decision regret — looking back at a choice you made and second-guessing it, even though you made the best call you could with the information you had

Noticing regret — seeing a possible warning sign and choosing not to act on it, which is a harder kind of regret to forgive because it isn't about not knowing, it's about not following through

Karen and Gail get personal here. Karen shares the story of nearly missing the signs of her dog Chey's partial cruciate ligament tear, and a decades-old memory of trusting her gut with a Birman cat's mysterious eye symptom. Gail opens up about the very present, very raw decision she's navigating right now with her cat Maisie — kidney failure, subcutaneous fluids that terrify her, and the daily argument she has with herself about whether she's doing enough.

This episode won't tell you there's an easy way to silence that voice. But it will help you name what you're carrying, understand where it comes from, and start finding your way back to self-compassion — whether your regret is about a decision you made, or a sign you noticed and let go.💜

📌 Related Resource:

📖 The LIVING Assessment- https://brightpathforpets.com/resources/living-quality-of-life-assessment/

📖 PEACEFUL Quality of Dying Guide: Signs of a Peaceful Passing - https://brightpathforpets.com/resources/peaceful-quality-of-dying-guide/

📖 Menu for Healing - https://brightpathforpets.com/resources/brighthaven-menu-for-healing/

A BrightPath TRANSITION Series Booklet - https://brightpathforpets.com/soul-centered-care-booklet/

📖 Nourishing Through Illness: Supporting Appetite, Comfort, and Care for Pets with Life-Changing Diagnoses - brightpathforpets.com/nourishing-through-illness