Gay Trauma, Gay Healing: Dan Werner on Breaking the Patterns We Carry EP 784

Featuring special guest Dan Werner

What happens when the things we learned to survive as gay men follow us into adulthood—into our relationships, our sex lives, our self-esteem, and the ways we connect with other men?

This week on Talk About Gay Sex, Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette are joined by Dan Werner for a deeper conversation about gay trauma and the emotional patterns many queer men carry long after coming out.

We explore how experiences like shame, rejection, bullying, hiding our sexuality, feeling different, and learning to seek validation can continue to shape us—even when we think we've moved beyond them. Dan shares insights from his work around trauma, healing, and understanding the behaviors we develop to protect ourselves.

The conversation also looks at how unresolved wounds can show up in dating, intimacy, sex, attachment, body image, relationships, and the search for connection—and why recognizing those patterns doesn't mean eliminating desire or rewriting our past. It can mean finally understanding ourselves with a little more clarity.

Plus, Steve and Kodi bring their own experiences to the discussion: the survival mechanisms we developed as younger gay men, the ways they've served us, and the moment when those same defenses may stop serving the lives we want today.