187 Why you keep dating the wrong people with Dr. Gillian O’Shea Brown

Why do we keep choosing the wrong partners — even when we know better? In this episode of That’s Orgasmic, Emily sits down with psychotherapist and professor Dr. Gillian O’Shea Brown to unpack the unconscious patterns that draw us toward emotionally unavailable relationships, familiar chaos, and unresolved wounds.

Together, they explore the idea of an “erotic emotional map,” how childhood attachment patterns can shape adult love lives, and why butterflies, adrenaline, and uncertainty can sometimes be misread as attraction. Gillian shares practical tools for noticing what a relationship brings out in you, including a simple body-based exercise and a post-date reflection practice that helps you track whether someone expands your sense of self or slowly erodes it.

If you’ve ever found yourself repeating the same relationship pattern, struggling to walk away, or wondering why calm love feels unfamiliar, this conversation offers compassionate insight and grounded guidance for choosing healthier, safer, and more reciprocal connection.

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