Beyond Stay or Go: Who You Become after Betrayal

"Should I stay or should I go?" Psychotherapist Lauren LaRusso, author of Beyond Infidelity, suggests it may not be the first question to answer. From the moment an affair comes to light, she says, the original relationship is already gone—and so is who you thought you were inside it.

Lauren's marriage ended after her husband's affair; mine ended after my own. From opposite sides of the same experience, we talk about letting go of control, rebuilding an identity shattered by betrayal, examining your role in the relationship (not the infidelity), and the inner work that's yours no matter how your relationship turns out.