What the darkness taught me about God

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two different things for me.

In this episode, I get honest about growing up without religion, my complicated history with Christianity, the moments in my life that have felt undeniably spiritual, and why I think I’ve sometimes avoided a deeper relationship with God. I talk about light and dark, pleasure and addiction, surrender, serendipity, and the idea that our stories may be the place where we see something greater working through us.

I also talk about my house burning down, starting over in Costa Rica, the unexpected things that have happened since, and how those experiences have changed the way I see my life and my relationship with God. I share why I’ve started looking at my story differently and why I think making sense of the painful parts of our lives can help us move from a dark place toward the light.

I talk about:

● Why I believe in God but still struggle with my relationship with God.

● Growing up without religion and my complicated relationship with Christianity.

● Why I sometimes felt like I was performing rather than genuinely worshipping.

● The moments in my life that have felt like undeniable “God moments.”

● Why I see light and dark as two different paths we can move toward.

● How pleasure, addiction, and unhealthy choices can pull us toward darkness.

● Why I think serendipity can be a form of light.

● How I’ve started seeing the events in my life as part of a larger story.