
← The Angry Therapist Podcast17. Aug. · 23 Min.
The house you grew up in still lives inside you
The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too.
I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves: What was the emotional climate of the home I grew up in?
This conversation goes far beyond nostalgia or childhood memories. I explore how the emotional atmosphere we grew up in - whether it was chaotic, unpredictable, emotionally distant, performance-driven, or conflict-avoidant - can continue shaping our relationships, attachment patterns, self-worth, and nervous system responses decades later.
Drawing from my own experiences and years of therapeutic work, I break down four types of emotionally immature parents and how growing up around these dynamics can wire us to become caretakers, perfectionists, conflict avoiders, or people who feel guilty for having needs at all.
This isn’t about blaming our parents. It’s about understanding how those early experiences taught us to relate to ourselves. Because real adulthood begins when we learn how to become the safest place we’ve ever lived.
In this episode:
• Why the emotional climate of your childhood matters more than the physical house
• The signs of an emotionally ruled parent
• How hypervigilance can get mistaken for empathy
• Why driven parents can unintentionally tie love to achievement
• What passive parents can teach us about conflict and boundaries
• How rejecting parents can create adults who apologize for existing