EP 69: Why You Over-Function (and How to Stop)

<p>What if healing your inner child could unlock the wisdom of your ancestors? In this episode of Leading Below the Surface, LaTonya Wilkins sits down with Tamala Floyd, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Psychotherapist, and the first Black IFS lead trainer  for a raw and revelatory conversation about Internal Family Systems (IFS), ancestral trauma, and what it really takes to heal below the surface. From navigating white-dominated spaces to transforming inherited rage, Tamala shares how IFS can reach the communities that need it most and how you can start your own healing journey without ever stepping into a therapy office.</p><p>🎥 Prefer to watch? This episode is also available on YouTube with chapters:<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@changecoaches/podcasts"> <u>https://www.youtube.com/@changecoaches/podcasts</u></a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Episode Chapters </strong></p><p>[00:00] Welcome &amp; introducing Tamala Floyd</p><ul><li><p>LaTonya shares how she discovered Tamala&#39;s book through a previous guest</p></li><li><p>Why she&#39;s fangirling — and what makes this conversation different</p></li></ul><p>[03:15] Being the first Black IFS lead trainer</p><ul><li><p>How Tamala came to IFS through The Body Keeps the Score</p></li><li><p>What it means to be a gatekeeper — and why representation in leadership matters</p></li></ul><p>[07:30] Bringing IFS into Black and marginalized communities</p><ul><li><p>Why language and framing matter when working across cultures</p></li><li><p>The &quot;storyteller part&quot; — and why Tamala pushed back on the traditional IFS approach</p></li></ul><p>[11:00] What IFS actually is — and why it&#39;s not a fad</p><ul><li><p>Parts, protectors, and getting to the root of trauma (not just managing it)</p></li></ul><p>[15:00] LaTonya&#39;s personal IFS session &amp; the ten-year-old within</p><ul><li><p>A vulnerable share about divorce, displacement, and emotional catharsis</p></li><li><p>What it felt like to finally talk to her younger self</p></li></ul><p>[18:00] Tamala&#39;s ten-year-old — abandonment, rejection, and healing</p><ul><li><p>How Tamala&#39;s own wound shaped her people-pleasing and rage</p></li><li><p>What happened when that part finally released its burden</p></li></ul><p>[20:30] Reconnecting with your inner child through travel, play, and joy</p><ul><li><p>How Tamala&#39;s ten-year-old &quot;drags her by the hand&quot; to the beach</p></li><li><p>Why adult joy doesn&#39;t have to look exactly like childh