Terry Real: The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love & One Simple Solution

Is society setting you up to fail in your marriage? World-renowned relationship therapist Terry Real sees a toxic culture of individualism troubling society at every level.

We are told to strive for personal productivity and perfection, ignoring the fact that we exist in a web of crucial relationships.

In this episode, Terry describes research showing that the mind exists in a social context, and that couples in fact co-regulate each other’s nervous systems.

Getting this right is very tricky, though, if you grew up without enough emotional support. The survival strategies that got you through childhood may, in fact, “torch your personal relationships”.

Andrew and Terry discuss the five most common traps that can undermine your relationship:

🚩 Needing to be right

🚩 Controlling your partner

🚩 Unbridled self-expression

🚩 Retaliation

🚩 Shutting down

We can overcome these, however, by tapping into our wiser, more collaborative self. If we can find the “us” rather than the “I”, we can achieve the warmer, more intimate relationships many of us long for.

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