SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Gets Harder As We Get Older

Why do our circles tend to get smaller as we get older?

You told us your struggles about moving and finding yourself far away from the people you love. About how much harder it is to make new friends. About feeling excluded. And about the surprisingly complicated question of what happens when you love your friend but don't love their kids.

So in Episode 4 of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I are tackling a question so many of you asked: Why does friendship get harder as we get older? And how many friends do we really need?

Is it that we have less time? That our lives get more complicated? That our standards change? Or are we doing something else that makes friendship harder than it needs to be?

Liz has a fascinating framework for thinking about this—and it made me rethink everything from how much we should expect from different friendships to how much agreement we actually need from the people in our lives.

We also get into the different “circles” of friendship, why you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, and what to do when the friendships you want don't fit neatly into your life anymore.

And we tackle the question so many of us have faced:

Do I need to find new friends or do I need to rethink the friendships I already have?

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more :

0:01:10 Social Health Revolution: Friendship as Longevity Superpower

0:03:20 Why Friendship Feels Harder With Age: Moves, Seasons, Exclusion