S1E45 Unraveling Matthew

S1 E45 - Unraveling Mathew Mathew grew up without a consistent father in his life. In 2013, he took a DNA test simply hoping to learn more about his ancestry. Eight years later, a Facebook message asking whether he was related to someone led him back to those results. His mother refused to tell him the truth. As Mathew built relationships with his new paternal family, his mother and much of his maternal family resisted or minimized his discovery. The resulting estrangement contributed to a severe mental health crisis. Mathew speaks candidly about suicidality, how his wife helped save his life, and how the NPE community helped him begin to heal.

Content note: This episode includes a candid discussion of suicidal thoughts. Please listen with care.

SHOW NOTES

In this deeply honest conversation, Kara and Mathew discuss:

Growing up without a father figureReturning to DNA results years laterA mother’s denial despite clear evidenceFinding a genetic father who already knew about himGenetic mirroring and a lifelong love of trucksMaintaining his relationship with the father he had always knownMaternal family estrangement and invalidationThe impact of his discovery on his wife and childrenSuicidality, support, and finding help

This is a powerful conversation about fathers, truth, belonging, and the importance of finding people who understand. Mathew’s willingness to speak openly—especially about men’s mental health—reminds us that no one should have to navigate a DNA surprise alone.

If you or someone you know needs immediate emotional support, call or text 988. Right to Know also maintains a non crisis hotline 323-825-5673.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

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