Transgender in Mexico: Living Authentically Abroad with Stephanie Byers

🎙️ Where Do Gays Retire Podcast

Transgender in Mexico: Living Authentically Abroad

Guest: Stephanie Byers |Host: Mark Goldstein

What does it actually feel like to walk down the street as a trans woman in a small Mexican lakeside town, and have nobody give you a second glance? That's the reality Stephanie Byers describes in this deeply moving and eye-opening episode. Stephanie, a former Kansas state legislator, GLSEN National Educator of the Year, and the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, and her wife Lori now call Ajijic, Mexico, home. And she says it's the freest she has ever felt.

Whether you're trans, LGBTQ+, or simply curious about what life looks like on the shores of Lake Chapala, this episode is for you. Stephanie holds nothing back, from the paperwork to the pharmacies to the cost of a knee replacement to the neighbor who shows up with a walker before you even get home from the hospital.

🌟 About Stephanie ByersStephanie Byers is a 63-year-old trans woman, Native American, educator, activist, and trailblazer. Here are a few highlights from her remarkable life:

Spent 32 years teaching band and orchestra, including 29 years in Wichita, Kansas, and 28 of those at a single high school.Began living authentically in 2014, describing it not as a transition but as simply allowing the world to finally see who she had always been.Named the GLSEN National Educator of the Year in 2018. Her students celebrated by replacing toilet paper in 100-year-old oak trees with rainbow streamers.Spoke on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court during the landmark Bostock v. Clayton County hearings, the case that redefined "on the basis of sex" to include sexual orientation and gender identity.In 2020, became the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, serving in the Kansas House of Representatives.After her legislative term, she and her wife, Lori, moved to San Antonio, Texas, to care for Lori's aging parents.In March 2025, Stephanie and Lori moved to Riberas del Pilar on the shores of Lake Chapala, just outside Ajijic, Mexico.

🌈 LGBTQ+ Life in AjijicStephanie describes the Ajijic expat community as overwhelmingly liberal and affirming, with a thriving LGBTQ+ presence:

The transgender expat community is actively growing. Stephanie knows multiple trans women, trans men, and non-binary people living in the area.The local attitude is best described as live and let live. Walking down the street, Stephanie is simply "a woman" to the people she passes.Occasional misgendering happens, but Stephanie attributes it almost entirely to language translation rather than intention. Spanish uses "su" for he, she, and it, so nuance can get lost.The expat community is notably protective of its LGBTQ+ members. When uncomfortable moments arise, people show up.A Queer Women of Lake Chapala group and a Queer Men of Lake Chapala group both meet weekly.Westboro Baptist Church has protested Stephanie three times in her life. None of that energy exists here.Stephanie wears her beaded trans pride earrings made in the style of Southeast Native American nations, and no one notices. "They just match my shirt."

🏥 Healthcare for Trans WomenOne of the most practical topics in this episode, and one of the most reassuring:

Gender-affirming medications are available over the counter at local pharmacies, no prescription required. Stephanie walked in, asked for estradiol 2mg tablets, and walked out with them.Progesterone is available through a mail-order pharmacy with no prescription.Costs are lower than paying out of pocket in the U.S., and significantly less than what many U.S. insurance plans now charge, if they cover transgender medications at all.Stephanie has not yet needed to see a physician for trans-related care, but trans women she knows locally report no issues accessing care.Specialist physicians in Guadalajara focus specifically on transgender healthcare.Most doctors speak English. Staff may