#98: Discipline Got You Here, But It Won't Get You What You Really Want

There are two kinds of success. From the outside they look a lot alike.

One of them you already know. Push through, exert your will, apply more effort to the friendships, the relationship, the career, even to your ability to relax.

That kind can work. But that's the trap. It pays out just enough to keep you doing it, while the bill accumulates somewhere you're not looking — each success means less than the last, and the people you pushed hard to earn have gradually thinned out.

You can feel what it costs. You've just been filing that under drive.

The second kind keeps every hour of the discipline but drops what's making it expensive.

When you hear it described in this episode, you'll probably think it sounds soft. Pay attention to that reaction. That's the first kind talking.

Confucius needed fifty-five years to tell these two apart. Most high achievers never do.

Start the episode here.

Show Highlights Include:

The weird way trying too hard can sometimes be the fastest path to failure (0:52)

Why the two forms of success seem identical to you (even if one form convinces you to self-destruct while the other one leads to almost effortless achievements) (1:59)

How forcing success in your career or relationship always leads to fury, frustration, and ultimately, failure (2:30)