"I Didn't Have A Self" | An Avoidant Wife Explains What Broke

Kate is the admittedly avoidant partner to Tyler Ely, the anxious partner I had on a previous live stream. Tyler read The Dead Bedroom Fix, backed off, and started working on his own security. It helped. We heard his side. This one is hers.

Three years ago they sat in therapy and talked about ending it. Today she cancels plans so she can be around him.

What she gets into:

Why she stopped believing him even while he was doing everything rightThe two books they handed each other, and how both got taken as an insultWhy the divorce conversation came four months AFTER they started working on the marriageThe lie she told herself for fifteen years about why she couldn't have a life of her ownThe moment a therapist called her out in a room full of peopleWhy "divorce stays on the table" is the rule that made them stop staying out of obligationIf you're the anxious one in your house and you're in month three of doing the work with nothing to show for it, this is the conversation to sit through.

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